Moscow, day 2

Today's hangover was cured by a sashay into the national fountain near Red Square - very refreshing. The heatwave which has apparently killed 212 Russians this week (serious fact: by DROWNING, caused by excessive vodka consumption and then an overwhelming desire to throw oneself into the nearest river) continued today with a fury, rocketing to 42C at about 2pm. Russians left, right, and centre threw themselves into the fountains and the rivers, true to news reports about the aforementioned 212 deceased, and this seemed perfectly fine with the authorities. Police - who seem to exist here in superabundance - stand in the middle of roads, literally twirling their batons, and blew a whistle loudly at a guy with me for taking a picture of Ivan the Terrible's old church bell 'from the wrong side.'

Cold drinks are pretty hard to come by around here, unless you want to live off the 'delicious' availability of Russia's favourite non-alcoholic drink, kvas. Little carts of kvas exist on every corner; I tried some in St Petersburg after a Russian girl told me: 'Kvas is a delicious and refreshing drink - it's made out of bread!'
As far as I can tell, it's a stodgier and non-alcoholic version of beer that Russians enjoy before it's acceptable to move on to real beer (about midday, and maybe even sooner if you can't afford mineral water. Water cashes in at 150 roubles in tourist areas - about GBP2.50, whereas a beer or a shot of vodka in central Moscow will set you back about the equivalent of 90p.)

Today I managed to see the Kremlin and the park that's now home to old communist statues torn down in 1989 (from the railings outside - the Muscovite policy of 'Russian prices versus tourist prices' means you often end up bleeding money in this city.) This was, of course, tempered by a healthy dose of getting completely soaked in the fountain, climbing out, and watching my water-sodden dress steam up in seconds and become completely dry by the time I reached the grass.

Moscow is so dirty that showering four times a day becomes necessary - your fingernails and toenails turn mysteriously black, and black dirt starts to build up on your legs every time you turn away. I have to say that after a week of the Russian cities I'm now looking forward to setting off for Siberia tomorrow, and am going to take the position that St Petersburg is the better city of the two. Wherever you go, Russians are insistently, hilariously rude and especially opposed to tourists of all kinds, but St P itself lived up to its 'Paris of Russia' reputation. Moscow lived up to its reputation for great post-communist-era relics, and an underlying culture of fear.

Tomorrow at 1pm I'm getting on the three and a half day train to Siberia, alighting in the Siberian town of Irkutsk sometime next Wednesday. Packing up lots of noodles because apparently the restaurant car on the Trans-Siberian Express can rapidly become a rerun of a Monty Python skit, and the only thing you can be sure of is a constant supply of boiling water in containers to your compartment every day. Why this happens is anyone's guess, as I've found is the case with most things in Russia. If you're wondering why a Russian guy with a magnet picks up the lucky pennies you throw, or why it's fashionable for Russian girls to walk around in leopard skin bras under transparent T-shirts that have Catholic crosses at the centre of their cleavage, or why a famous ice-skater retires to become a taxi driver, or why Anastasia the so-called tour guide said to me today: 'You can go to this monument, or to the circus. These I recommend to you, but I dislike both of them', then you're approaching this lovely country with the wrong mentality. The urbanites of Russia's two main cities seem hell-bent on the most bizarre 'why not?' attitude I've ever encountered - one devoid of excitable spontaneity, but filled with an edgy defiance which becomes comical when viewed from a flattering angle. Russia requires a sturdy sense of humour, but now I can read the Cyrillic alphabet I'm not about to give up on it.

Onward to Siberia!